RESUME
GEORGE W. BUSH
THE WHITE HOUSE, USA
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
LAW ENFORCEMENT
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Kenneth Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions of dollars in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISMENTS AS PRESIDENT
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire", Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by a U.S. President
I am the all time U.S. and world record holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Hailiburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I have awarded billions of dollars in no bid government contracts to Haliburton, a company closely associated with my Vice President, for the purpose of war profiteering.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil and power industries was revealed. All records or minutes that I, or my Vice President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration posts than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Department of Homelad Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election)
I set the record for least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered a great deal of sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in history.